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Where the Paved Road Ends: Happy Wife, Happy Life

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By Beth Watkins

One morning shortly after we got married, I woke up to an empty house. I panicked, “Did I do something in my sleep to upset him—Did I snore? Did I drool? Why wouldn’t he have told me ‘bye?’ It’s not like him to not kiss me goodbye!” I take one long look in the mirror at the wild hair-do that I had been working on all night and decided the honeymoon must be over. I was heartbroken. He later laughed and explained, “I didn’t want to disturb you. You were snuggled up underneath the covers.”

So, the first of many unspoken rules was established. I may not coherently respond, but I always get a mandatory kiss goodbye. I know, to some people that sounds a little on the high maintenance side, but that sweet little gesture goes a long way at making me happy. As my man says, “Happy wife, happy life.” He’s a very smart and happy man. I learned a long time ago that great relationships don’t just happen, they take work.

At our humble abode, he goes to work, and I’m a housewife. Not only does he have a J-O-B, he raises cattle and everything that entails. As stated in a previous article, my job title is domestic goddess. Since we are in the season in life where it’s just me and him, I have a lot of time to devote to making our home the place where there is nowhere else in the world he would rather be. Men like to be taken care of, but not handled.

Taking care of GW is easy as he eats whatever I put on the table. He likes his clothes heavily starched; therefore, most of his laundry goes to the cleaners, which makes me happy, and I get a bonus: he takes me to lunch. One week they lost his laundry bag, and since he is a creature of habit, all week long his dirty clothes routine was messed up.

They still hadn’t found his bag by the next week, and they were out of new ones. After threatening to not take his clothes to the cleaners, I did what any smart wife would do. I went to the store and bought him a new bag. When I took his laundry to the cleaners, I smiled and asked them to please do me a favor. I pleaded, “Please make sure we get the bag back. My husband is threatening to stop using the cleaners and that will throw a kink in my routine. Not only would I be slaving over the ironing board at home, I wouldn’t get to go out to lunch.”  When I picked up his laundry the next day they made sure I had two bags. Again, happy wife.

Now, there is a fine line when it comes to taking care of him, but not handling him. I learned early-on the unspoken rule, “The man picks out his own clothes.” If I were to lay out jeans and a shirt for him, that would be classified as “handlin’ him.” Not only does that phrase make me giggle, but I can’t say it without rolling my eyes. And rolling my eyes is one of his unspoken rules.

One important bit of information for a happy relationship is to always remember that men are wired differently than women.  And as great as my man is, he, like most men, does not read minds. Women who think that men should just instinctively know what needs to be done will always be unhappy. Studies show that women use more words in a day than men. So, don’t just pout and stew over something, use your words to help him know what you are thinking. But, be very aware, there is a fine line between suggesting and nagging.

The art of making a request with successful end results is all in the way you word it. As a rule it’s never wise to begin a sentence with “Why do you always…” It’s better received with “Do you mind if I make a suggestion…” Also, be careful with your words, and that goes both ways. A harsh or hateful word hurts no matter how big of an ole boy you’ve got.

One day we were working cows, and I was on the head gate. Everything was going just peachy, until a calf became stubborn and was causing major problems in the sweep. It finally got turned the right direction and was headed my way, but in all the commotion I got sidetracked and accidentally let him escape. That caused a few new unspoken rules to be dealt with. “If you are going to help, keep focused on your job, don’t be chasing squirrels,” and “If you yell at me in a tone that you wouldn’t use if it were your best buddy, then I quit and you can do it yourself. See me walking and you know you’ve got trouble.” I’m the best, well “only” hand he’s got, so he should choose his words and tone wisely.

The upside to having me as his helper is that I try to make our chores fun. I plan ahead. A well, thought-out lunch in a picnic basket, a blanket and a Bluetooth speaker made some great memories the day we built fence down by the creek.

Life is stressful enough; try to make the best of it. Look for a way to laugh, remember to flirt with each other, keep that spark alive. I love when I get my “good mornin, baby” text from GW. It always starts my day off with a smile because I know he’s thinking about me. I know being a boss is hard and at times frustrating, so I text him little love messages throughout his day so he will look forward to coming home to me. Today’s message was “I love you like a fat kid loves cake!”

“Kiss me when you walk through the door” has never had to be an unspoken rule. It happens naturally, because we both have been looking forward to the homecoming all day. They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth, but I don’t agree. I think it’s at the end of this dirt road: where we live, laugh and love.

Country Lifestyle

Superbells Blackcurrant Punch

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Rare Color for Baskets and Mixed Containers

By Norman Winter | Horticulturist Author and Speaker

The Garden Guy has become completely mesmerized by a bowl of blackcurrants. You can guess I am having a little fun with you. I am not talking about the fruit but the flowers referred to as Superbells Blackcurrant Punch.

This year most everything came through the winter including a few plants I am even asking where did you come from? The spring has been long, gloriously beautiful and still in progress and all of the Superbells calibrachoas taking your breath away with their beauty.

I have written about the ‘Punch Group’ but never about a single color. I love every one of them but this year I just have to dedicate a column to Superbells Blackcurrant Punch. Yes, I do have a couple of yellow bowls where they are showing out but in reality, they are mixed in a lot of my containers.

Superbells Blackcurrant Punch has won a ‘baker’s dozen’ of awards, Top Performers, and Perfect Scores north to south and east to west. Like the others they reach about 12-inches tall with up to a 2-foot spread. They obviously have some cold tolerance as mine have come through the winter. The caveat is they did spend five consecutive nights in the garage. Their beauty in March and April has defied logic.

The color which is so rare in the garden makes it a must have plant. I found a Proven Winners description from several years ago that nails it, Superbells Blackcurrant Punch has bright fuchsia-colored petals with velvety black centers and a subtle yellow in the throat. It will be hard to pass by if you are lucky enough to find them at the garden center.

Your success will come from growing them in containers with a very good potting soil. Give them plenty of sun. There is a lot of garden gossip that says you can’t grow them with Supertunias, Superbenas or a plethora of other plants because of different water requirements.

In the South we water containers and baskets every day unless we get rain. These containers drain freely so life is the same for all the plants. Since we water so frequently, we need to feed on a regular basis. The Garden Guy mixes up the blue water-soluble mix and feeds the container grown plants about every three weeks. At some point the Superbells Blackcurrant Punch will look tired and in need of a trim. This haircut so to speak will generate new growth, and blooms for the fall.

Your choice of partners is only limited by your imagination. I love them with Lemon Coral sedum, Superbena Cobalt verbena, Blush Princess sweet alyssum and mixed with other calibrachoas like Superbells Grape Punch and Magic Pink Lemonade. They are heavenly with Primo Wild Rose heuchera and Superbena Whiteout verbena.

All of the Superbells attract both hummingbirds and butterflies. The butterflies I have photographed so far have all been Eastern Tiger Swallowtails. You have to admit that’s not bad for flowers that are so pretty. Planting season is here, keep a spot open in your mixed-container recipes for Superbells Black Currant Punch or some of the other Superbells calibrachoas that now total 41. Follow me on Facebook @NormanWinterTheGardenGuy for more photos and garden inspiration.

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Country Lifestyle

Western Housewives – June 2024

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Life consists of small events that define us. Sometimes, it’s something as simple as eating cake with your two-year-old at midnight at your sister’s wedding. Sometimes, it’s something as painful as taking your two-week-old to the emergency room with RSV and living there for a week. Both are moments that changed me, and both are moments that I’ll remember forever.

Often my defining moments have happened on the back of a horse. I guess that is because that is where I have spent most of my life. It has made me pay special attention to each horse I have ridden during different stages of my life.

My first horse was a big bay horse that was must have reminded me of Greek mythology because it took me about two seconds to name him “Hercules.” He was the perfect mount for a five-year-old that acted tough but was secretly scared of her own shadow. Once I got Hercules, I could start going to work with my dad. We gathered wheat pastures and road pens, and he let me sit in the round pen on Hercules while he worked his sale horses. At the ripe age of five I was a pretty seasoned pen rider and had the sour disposition to prove it.

One morning we had a lot of wheat pasture freshies to turn out. Naturally, they ran off as soon as they got off the truck. Babies cry, and wheat pasture cattle run off the truck; I don’t make the rules.

My Dad had to leave me and get in front of the herd to keep them from crashing into the fence. I’m sure he told me just to stay put, but Hercules got excited by all the commotion and started following the impending stampede. Now I realize that I was safe the entire time, but, at that moment, I was certain my life was over. I was dramatic even as a youngster. Would Hercules ever stop? Would he try and jump the sprinkler tracks? What if he runs through the hot wire? And most importantly, what will I tell my friends?

About the time I was ready to jump into the dirt my Dad ran up beside me and helped me stop Hercules. I was safe, my adrenaline was pumping and I was promised an Allsup’s Coke for all my troubles. That was a defining moment in my life. I realized the more danger you got yourself in to, the much bigger the condolence award. As long as I was able to keep it to an Allsup’s Coke level of danger I would be just fine.

The next horse I truly loved was named “Alotofbull” He was anything but full of bull. He was big, cowy, and athletic. He scared me just a little but that’s what made me love him the most. My Dad and I won countless events on Alotofbull. My Dad has true horsemanship pumping through his veins, but I can only credit my riding success to Alotofbull. He made things easy for me and I felt I was nothing without him.

Even after all the ribbons, the moment I remember the most about him wasn’t in the showpen. it was in the middle of nowhere on a place we called “The Cain.” The Cain was where I spent many fall afternoons and summer mornings. It was full of Sandhills, cactus that were found of my backside every time my seat left the saddle, and absolutely no sign of civilization.  We would push cows to water, move pastures, and do other slow-paced things that were good for the horse and for the mind. I loved it there.

One afternoon in the middle of June, my Dad and I were moving some cattle to water. After we were done we came upon a set of old pens that my Dad had branded calves in with his Dad a long time ago. My Dad got quiet and solemn. Traits that were unusual for him. He started to reminisce of times long ago and told me how much he wished all his kids had gotten to know his Dad before he had passed away many years prior. I was only 14 at the time, and I was having trouble holding back tears myself. I leaned forward and played with Alotofbull’s black mane. I knew my grandfather had been a special man and I knew my Dad had cherished him. It made me see my Dad in a different light going forward. Yes, he was strong and resilient, but he was also human, just like the rest of us. He had a vulnerability in his life, too. It was a moment that taught me not to be afraid to talk about the hard stuff but to always press on. No matter what.

Many years later, I found myself in beautiful Oklahoma on a horse named “Reuben.” He was my then-boyfriend’s horse and was the only quick and little horse I had ever ridden. He was spunky and made me feel like better help than I was as we gathered pairs to wean that morning.

The sun was just coming up over the cottonwood trees, making the dewy grass shine. I looked over at the man beside me and just knew I would spend the rest of my life doing this very thing with him. I didn’t care if we ever had money or much of anything, really. As long as we were together, loving God, and riding good horses, I didn’t care about anything else.

About 12 hours later, after a long day and a few incidents that may or may not have involved me getting run over by a yearling, that same man proposed to me. We had never talked about it out loud, but I guess God had put it in both of our hearts. It was a moment that, of course, changed the rest of my life. It taught me not to overthink things when they are right and that an Oklahoma cowboy was just what my life needed.

I’ve had many horses and many defining moments in my life. Sometimes, I have loved the horse, and sometimes, I have not. The same goes for the moments. Nevertheless, each horse and moment has taught me something. After all this time, I am convinced that no matter how old I get, I will never be too old to ride a good horse because I will never be too old for a defining moment.

That being said, if one or two of my life lessons could involve another Allsup’s Coke, that’d be all right by me.

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Country Lifestyle

A Beginners Guide to Fishing

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It seems that the subjects of countless profiles in the past year have mentioned, whether in passing or as part of a larger discussion, that the COVID-19 pandemic changed Oklahoma’s landscape in numerous ways. By and large, the overwhelming observation is that Okies in urban areas have begun migrating to the country, and are embracing the rural lifestyle. Small farms are popping up with a variety of animals, and gardens are being planted where there wasn’t one before.

It made me think that there are likely people out there who don’t know the basics of one of Oklahoma’s favorite pastimes: fishing.

With countless lakes, rivers, and streams teeming with a diverse array of fish species, Oklahoma offers ample opportunities for anglers of all ages and skill levels to cast their lines and reel in memorable catches.

If you’re new to fishing and eager to dip your toes into the water, don’t be afraid. Here are a few basic concepts to get you started.

Understanding Oklahoma’s Fishing Scene

Before you embark on your angling adventure, it’s essential to familiarize yourself with Oklahoma’s diverse fishing opportunities. From largemouth bass in the renowned Lake Texoma to catfish in the Red River, each region of the state offers its own distinct fishing experience. Consult resources such as the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation website and local fishing guides to discover prime fishing spots near you and learn about the regulations and licensing requirements specific to Oklahoma waters.

Gear Up

One of the first steps in getting started with fishing is acquiring the necessary gear. For beginners, a basic fishing rod and reel combo will suffice. Opt for a versatile spinning or spincast reel paired with a medium-action rod, which offers flexibility and ease of use for a variety of fishing techniques. Additionally, invest in essential tackle such as hooks, sinkers, bobbers, and a selection of artificial lures or live bait, depending on your preferred fishing style and target species.

Learn the Ropes

Before you hit the water, take some time to familiarize yourself with the fundamentals of fishing. Practice tying basic fishing knots, which are essential for securing your line and attaching hooks and lures. Watch online tutorials or consult instructional books and videos tailored to beginner anglers to learn casting techniques, proper rod handling, and best fish handling practices.

Choose Your Fishing Spot

Oklahoma boasts an abundance of fishing hotspots, ranging from expansive reservoirs and scenic rivers to hidden ponds and urban lakes. Consider factors such as proximity, accessibility, and the type of fish you’re targeting when selecting your fishing spot. Popular destinations for beginners include Lake Hefner in Oklahoma City, Lake Thunderbird near Norman, and the Illinois River in northeastern Oklahoma, known for its scenic beauty and excellent trout fishing.

There are also countless farm ponds, but, I hope it goes without saying, you must obtain the land-owner’s permission to access their lands and fish their ponds.

Follow Fishing Regulations

Before you embark on your fishing excursion, familiarize yourself with Oklahoma’s fishing regulations and licensing requirements. The ODWC website provides up-to-date information on fishing seasons, bag limits, size restrictions, and license fees. Remember to obtain a valid fishing license and any additional permits required for specific fishing locations or species, as failure to comply with regulations can result in fines and penalties.

Practice Patience and Persistence

Fishing is as much about patience and persistence as it is about skill and technique. Be prepared to spend time waiting for the fish to bite, and don’t get discouraged if you don’t reel in a trophy catch on your first outing. Experiment with different baits, lures, and fishing techniques, and don’t be afraid to seek advice from experienced anglers or local bait shops. You’ll soon become more proficient and confident in your fishing abilities with practice and perseverance.

By gearing up with the right equipment, learning essential fishing skills, choosing the perfect fishing spot, following regulations, and embracing patience and persistence, beginners can set themselves up for a rewarding and enjoyable fishing experience in the Sooner State.

References:

Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation (ODWC). “Fishing Regulations.” wildlife.ok.gov/fishing/regulations

ODWC. “Fishing in Oklahoma.” wildlife.ok.gov/fishing

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